There are several regular baristas that work shifts at the CharLoft - each shift lasts approximately eight hours, though attempting to predict the start or stop thereof is a fool's errand at best.

• Mark Hamill. Apparent age: 24. Short brown hair, generally scruffy appearance. Claims to have come from origin world: Humanity's Last Resort, circa December 12, 2012, when 'the world ended'. Generally sarcastic, often makes predictions regarding the outcome of events. Is often accurate in his predictions, though seldom paid attention to. Is supposedly contracted to work for the Boss for all eternity. Keeps a paintball gun, a shotgun, and a fragmentation grenade under the bar for personal defense, among other things.

• Saladin. Apparent age: 28. Long black hair. Quiet and unassuming in most cases. Claims to hail from a version of the Pokemon universe called Kyrael. Has a mild irrational fear of Germans, Russians, and 'any other culture responsible for the murder of over one hundred million people in the space of four years'. Does not respond well to passive-aggressiveness. Generally prefers not to talk to patrons when possible, and is usually not very polite when she does, but is chatty with regulars. Has the odd habit of referring to Mark as 'she'. Has a belt of Poke-balls for personal defense, as well as a wristop computer she can use to access the rest of her collection. Her personal favorite, Hottie, is a Charizard whose move set includes 'Sunny Day' - good for clearing a room of vampires.

• Daniel Nightblade. Apparent age: 28. A swashbuckler in dress and general appearance, complete with a magical rapier belted to his hip. Hails from a magical fantasy realm, and refers to working at the CharLoft as part of 'his retirement'. Very polite, but prone to ramble about mythological conquests if provoked. Has some experience with magic, and seems capable of utilizing the Doors to track places, usually for the purpose of returning small children to their home dimension.

• Alyssa. Apparent age: 235. A skimpily-dressed elf girl who wears an apron over a skimpy blue silk diner-waitress-style outfit, and is very cheerful and polite. Speaks Elvish and a strongly-accented form of English. Seems to have a memory that goes back only about forty years, due to being recovered from an unpleasant place that long ago.

Less regular baristas include:

• Barista Droid. Apparent age: ??. A robotic servant in a barista apron who serves up drinks and readily translates between languages, using its face-plate to translate nonspoken languages and its synthesizer to translate spoken and sound-based languages. Is fairly mechanical in conversation. Automatically calculates a 5% gratuity which it adds to all service costs. Tends to settle disputes by removing its hands to reveal dual machine guns, and shooting until the problem is solved or the cafe ceases to exist due to blood-splatter. Most commonly appears when Mark needs to step away from the counter for a few minutes.

• Hasseus. Apparent age: 24. Looks uncannily like Mark, though careful observers would note that his hair is slightly longer and darker, and he has a faint trace of beard. Very friendly, but usually also fairly quiet. Does not talk about his background. Occasionally called 'Mark's evil twin'. May or may not keep weapons under the bar for personal use. Typically on duty when the bar staff is otherwise unmunned.

• Invisible Tentacle Rape Barista. Apparent age: ??. It is unknown whether this barista is actually an invisible betentacled demon horror from Japan, or simply some sort of ghost or poltergeist with a fetish problem, but either way, this barista very occasionally appears on duty to serve drinks without being seen, and to surprise people who think going behind the counter is a wise idea when it looks like nobody is there.

• Steve. Apparent age: Nunya (see also: damn business). Human. Serves award-winning coffee and healthy doses of snark. Universally blunt and direct but well-intentioned (usually) and self-assured (always).

• Mr. Barista. A nearly-featureless silver sphere about the size of a basketball. When active, its eyes glow red and it hovers unsupported. Silent and menacing in a hard-to-define way. It does not speak but understands orders for items from the bar, both spoken aloud and written. Payment is placed on a tray that extends out from the surface of Mr. Barista, and items are returned the same way, although on a sturdier tray. The exact way this works is somewhat of a mystery;the popular theory is that the interior of the sphere is actually a gateway to the same sort of extradimensional space that exists behind the bar. There are other rumors, too, regarding potent anti-tampering mechanisms in place should anyone try to disturb or otherwise violate the sphere. Other models of Mr. Barista may exist, with differing abilities and levels of interactivity. However, production of this model was discontinued after a severe decline in popularity.

Occasionally, other baristas fill in behind the counter, but little is known about them. However, there is always one (and generally only one) barista on duty at any given moment.

• The Barista's Handbook